Fibro sucks!!

Hi, my name is Susan, I live in Traverse City Michigan and have suffered from Fibro for 7 years. I also am Bipolar, and have advanced cervical spondylosis with nerve damage in my left shuolder and arm, cervical impingment and herniated discs. I also have IBS, migraines, sleep apnea,chronic pain and fatigue, cognitive disfunction, and a host of other problems that all fall under the umbrella term of Fibromyalgia.
To look at me you would think I was a healthy 46 year old women, but looks are decieving. I believe that is the reason I have been fighting the system for disability now for 5 years. I am on my second appeal. I was denied the first time which is pretty typical, appealed with a representative ( that was highly reccomended) with a high favorable success rate. Was denied again. obtained an attorney who was able to get the judges decision over turned and a new hearing is now being scheduled. I just went yesterday to a doctor that the social security admin sent me to for a consultative exam, and it was a joke. He spent a whole 14 minutes with me including 2 seperate times he lefft the room to make copies and retrieve a blood pressure cuff. He has me pick up a quarter with my left hand then the right. and various other tasks. All I know is that if the judge gives any credence to his opinion about whether I am employable I will be livid. I also have been having severe panic attacks lately. About a month ago I started having a hard time breathing and my heart was pounding out of my chest when I got the er room my heart rate was 168. I thought I was having a heart attack. But the diagnosis was a panic attack. I know I need to keep going and do everything I need to for this case or I will eventually be homeless. There is no way I could work even if I had to. In 2005 I was working as a nurse and at that time didn't really understand what was going on with me trying to work 40 hrs a week in pain with no energy and I hit rock bottom and attempted suicide. Ended up in ICU with a grave prognosis. obviously the man up stairs decided it wasn't my time to go. And I am glad now but at the time I couldn't handle the stress of dealing with the pain and fatigue at the same time trying to act like I could function like everyone else.
I am glad to be a member of this forum and hope to make some friends that also are going through a similar situation. It is much easier to be understanding when you are going throught the same thing. I just can't bring myself to discuss all my problems with my healthy friends, they will listen but they really don't understand. And how could they?
It's funny how you don't appreciate the simple things in life until they are taken from you. This disease robs you of the simple pleasures in life. I don't have the ability to do things I enjoy, but even worse is I can't walk for more than 5 minutes without having to sit down and rest. It' crazy when I think about my life and how inactive I've become. I use to compete in Windsurfing regatta's and once took first place in a state championship in the women's class. I use to snowboard, and ride dirtbikes through the woods, I was just enjoying those memories. I have days now that I can't even get out of bed.
Thanks everyone for listening to me ramble, but I do feel better now.
Have a blessed day
Susan

Nice to meet you

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