Yet another from me...

Hi, everyone. Ya'll please keep me and my son in your prayers. The other day my son couldn't get a response to repeated calls to his father, went to check on him and found him dead.

They are in Texas, I am in NC and because we were together 23 years, remained good friends after our divorce. He had asked me to ensure that his final affairs be handled the way he wanted. Because, (as most kids do), our son resents me for the divorce, he refused to honor the promise I made to his father to handle his affairs and his father left no will stating so that they can find.

Over the past several days, he has treated me with total disrespect, talked to me as if I were some piece of dirt on his shoe, made arrangements in many ways opposite of what his father wanted and communicated with everyone here in NC, including my own sister but not me. (He even called her and not me after he found his Father!!!) It was only when he couldn't find the will or life insurance policy that he decided to treat me with any respect and that was because he needed the life insurance policy. My sister hasen't helped matters because, like most people, she feels that you're supposed to "hate your ex" and though I have tried to explain, apparently she never grasped the understanding that we had remained strong friends to the end. She has worked against me with my son, interjecting her own opinions of how I should act, feel and decisions I've made, turning him further against me.

Meanwhile; I've lost a treasured friend that I spent over half of my life with, raised a child with and have been left alone here in NC with my grief. The promise that I made to my ex-husband has been left unfullfilled as my son declared himself "in charge", told me he didn't want me to even come to Texas and I had no leg to stand on since my ex either didn't put it all in writing as he said he did or they haven't found it.

Last night I sat alone, aware that a funeral was being held at that exact time; a funeral that my ex did not want, (he wanted to be cremated and as a biker, just wanted to be take on his last ride,) a sister that he had little respect for had ensured that his first wife was in attendance and as far as they all were concerned as a family who had disapproved of me from the onset of our marriage and worked against me, had once again thwarted any control or plans I thought should have been made.

It has been a very sad and lonely three days.

The last straw was when my sister forwarded a picture of the rented, flagged draped coffin from the funeral last night to me. (They had placed him in a rented coffin for their funeral, only to be taken out and be cremated today!) My son didn't send one to me, but to her instead! (Not that I needed to be reminded of a funeral that his Father did not want, nor that I was allowed to attend.)

Please pray for me. I need peace from a promise that I wasn't allowed to fulfill, peace from the loss of a long and dear friend, peace from anger that he apparently didn't put anything in writing and peace from a mother's broken heart.

God bless you all and thanks for listening.