It takes a LOT of understanding...on EVERYONE'S part.

good post, thanks for post

I recently endured the long and arduous process of re-applying for disability for the third time. I will admit, I didn't have an attorney to do the leg-work for me. I did it all on my own, all three times. This last time however, I got further than I'd ever gotten before. I was actually scheduled for doctor's visits to determine my physical condition as well as my mental condition. I took this as a sign that perhaps I was actually on the right track this time around. Perhaps I was...

Unfortunately, I had my physical examination first. I was scheduled to visit with a Chiropractor, showed up on time (without the aid of my cane, which is unusual), and was sent into a small room. Once the chiropractor came in, she delved directly into finding out my Tender Points. Of course, I 'aced' this part of the exam, and she actually eyed me as if perhaps I was faking her out somehow. What followed was a barrage of questions regarding my normal everyday routine. Since I'd recently gotten a divorce (due to many misunderstandings regarding my condition), I was forced to re-enter the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom/wife/etc. for over 3 years prior. The job I'd gotten was something part time, but arduous physical labor. I knew this wouldn't work in my favor obviously, so I mentioned the 4 times I'd already called in sick in the two months I'd been employed. This doctor shrugged off this comment as if it was of no consequence and kept on with my questions. She then had me lie down and pressed upon several areas of my body, asking me if I was tender. Of course I was! Duh. She had a scale of 1-10 pain-wise, and asked me to describe my pain on a normal level. Then she asked what it was on a stress-induced level. After that, she pressed upon areas of my body and asked what my pain level was. Perhaps my mistake was in answering honestly....You see, I've been battling Fibromyalgia for over 8 years, many years of which with NO medications that seem to help at all with the pain, so I've learned how to cope or to better ignore the pain. So when I answered that the actual PAIN was an 8 or so, she 'tsk'd' me. Once she was done with her physical assessment, she actually said this verbatim "...Okay, well I have to say one thing: If you felt as badly as you claim to feel, then I sincerely doubt you'd be walking in here for your doctor's appointment unaided." I was by myself, so naturally she assumed I must be completely capable 100% of the time. When I told her that I'd pretty much become accustomed to the fact that I was in so much pain so much of the time, so naturally I'd not think of it as being a big a deal as it normally was, she rolled her eyes. ROLLED HER EYES at me! I was livid. I left that day, feeling so defeated. But I still held onto a shred of hope because my mental examination was coming up soon.

The therapist I was scheduled to see was a super-sweet young woman who was absolutely 100% helpful and accommodating the entire time I was with her, which was about 45 minutes. This totaled out to be approximately 34 minutes longer than the chiropractor deigned to be in my presence a week prior. Hmm.. Anyway, she was adorable, very kind, and she and I completely connected within minutes. The session went well, even if I did discover more mental anxiety issues about my condition than I was prepared to admit before my visit with her.

Anyway, 3 weeks went by with no word from the state of WA where I'm from. Finally, I got the dreaded denial letter. I have to admit that I was a bit more optimistic than I was the prior two times I'd applied (which went nowhere. One minute I apply and give consent to my medical records, the next I'm denied), and was frankly shocked at what I'd read. Apparently the therapist I'd visited had completely backed my need for disability assistance, noting that my condition has made it so unbearable for me to juggle both a work and family life that it's thrown me into a sort of depressive spiral that's impossible for me to get out of. If I work, I can't take care of my family. If I take care of my family, we're in danger of becoming homeless due to lack of income. I can't do both. I just CAN'T. This therapist understood that and gave her recommendations accordingly.

However, the chiropractor I met with obviously had a VERY different opinion regarding my condition. If there's one pet peeve I have with FMS, it's people not believing in the severity of your condition when you try and explain HONESTLY how you do things. I guess I should've limped in there with a cane and assistant, claiming that I can't even climb aboard the office bed without further assistance. I suppose I could've acted as completely inept as I feel some days, just to physically show how horrible I feel 85% of the time. But I didn't. Forgive me, but I didn't want to deceive my state or the disability system, knowing that most people do so anyway. I thought I'd be a breath of fresh air that they'd appreciate. How naive of me! This chiropractor basically suggested that I be denied funds because there's NO way I could be as disabled as I claimed I was, since I was working in a more physically demanding profession than others might in my situation. Nevermind the fact that I've never had a college education or work experience to show the fact that I can type 85wpm. I can do office stuff...but good luck finding someone who can hire me for it. Add onto that the fact that I have two children with split custody (note said divorce) with, so I have only certain hours that I can work each day to make things feasible. The whole thing is a nightmare!!

Anyway, I was denied. I'm currently looking into other options, where I hire an attorney to do everything for me and they only get paid if I 'win' my case. This has to be better than me going through the blood/physical/mental tests I've undergone already just because I'm trying to prove to the state that I truly DO have this condition that I've learned to try and deal with for the last 8 years, and am not trying to scam the state. I try not to get discouraged, but reactions like the chiropractor I met with don't help in that regard. She really did push my personal emotional progress back about 5 years with her disbelieving BS. It's depressing and discouraging.

But I'm going to try again. I know I need this, unlike many others who scam this system every day.

That's my story.