An Open Letter

My name is Sparrow, I'm 26, and I have suffered from fibro since I was 12 years old.
I will introduce myself more thoroughly at a later time.
I have something that I would like to share with everyone.

12-05-09 I just lashed out at Someone I love. Someone whom I cherish with all of my heart. Someone who has done nothing but show me unconditional love, devotion, and adoration. Someone who has always supported me. Someone that only wants to see me happy and well. Someone who has been The Shoulders, The Ear, The Arms, and so much more. Someone who has opened my heart & made a home. Someone who has never turned away. Someone who sees this hostile take-over of my body, time & time again, & has stayed steady in my tidal wave sea.
This isn’t me. I’m in here somewhere, trapped inside my own body. I watch the demon wearing my face overreacting with a temper that doesn’t belong to me & I can do little or nothing to stop it. To stop the mayhem & chaos. The negative bile even spills onto the dog.
Fibromyalgia can be a dark disease that seems to latch onto your very soul. The pain burrows to the deepest layers of your being. The physical pain hurts less than the ravenous rampage it takes on your emotions, on your mind. The frustration eats away at your patience & your demeanor. You’re forced to watch yourself hurt the ones you love the most. If you’re lucky, you have the same kind of Someone that I do. My true heart of hearts goes out to those who suffer from Fibro alone. Your pain matters to me. I admire you & encourage you to stay strong. Everyone needs someone to care & truly understand this total mind-raping.
I sincerely and whole-heartedly apologize to my Someone for having to endure what we still don’t fully understand & for managing to do it with grace. My clichéd Guardian Angel. We know it won’t be the last time I must apologize for my schizophrenic disease.
If you happen to be somebody’s Someone, my proverbial hat stays off to you. Thank you for your beautiful heart. It takes a special kind of Someone to put up with all of the alien personalities. Please remember we love you & need you to help keep us sane.
I pray to one day be one of the fortunate few who have been able to keep their meds regulated and their pain managed successfully. Until then I will do my best to suppress Fibromyalgia’s many demons & when I can’t, I promise to piece back together the shattered shards of the explosion if you will continue to let me.
Hold on extra tight to your Someone for me today.